What was happening to me ? Nothing was the same anymore. I felt uncomfortable in my skin; not even my hair felt like it was my own. I didn’t know if I wanted it longer or shorter, straight or curly.
I found myself muttering about these things that only happened to ‘other’ people.
I was at my end of my 58th year, looking at the sagging cheeks, the extra roll around the waist, the joints that ached, I even noticed a change in my bladder movements. I know, I felt embarrassed about having to go to the loo so often. These are the things ladies don’t talk about unless you have a sister that is close to you.
I understand all this growing old with grace stuff and my logical mind, should, could be more accepting, but it wasn’t.
I actually didn’t know how I was meant to look, feel, or what to do anymore. It felt like I was meant to just know how to be 58 year old. I’ve never been here before, so why should I know?
Some people look so comfortable sliding into the next phase of
their lives. How come no-one talks about these emotions?
I question myself constantly. This is a very real thing. We are not on the young list anymore neither are we on the other end of the scale. Honestly I think most people just suffer in silence or they laugh it off.
I met a women at the hairdresser the other day with the same problem. Should she cut her hair or leave it long? We laughed together. It was good to find I wasn’t alone in this confusion, feeling like an awkward teenager again😳.
I also realised it wasn’t just my body changing; everything
else was too. The way I saw life – people that no longer fitted into my world; things that just didn’t work anymore.
I did not see myself as I plodded on doing what most people do. Putting one foot in front of the other.
There was a deep need for me to understand who I was on a spiritual level.
There really must be a rite of passage that one goes through rather than throwing a party when one reaches 60!
If you are feeling there has to be more to life, I totally agree.
I have found ways to make my life matter, to slow down and literally smell the roses. To be at peace with not being able to keep up with the ‘ young one’s. To be me.
The older I get the freer I feel.
I have found after years of working with my subconscious mind and working through the layers of emotions that there is much more to being human that you can ever imagine.
If you’re feeling like you don’t know what’s going on anymore, whatever age you are, and you’d like someone to walk with, book a 20 minute complimentary call.
Let’s take the next step together. You’re not alone.